


Nicest Kids in Town

by Toad_Town



Category: Hairspray (2007)
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Bullying, Corney Collins Show, Ensemble Cast, F/M, Headcanon, Racist Characters, Rumors, Vandalism, pre-hairspray
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-09-25 00:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toad_Town/pseuds/Toad_Town
Summary: Most of the Council Members don't have any lines or personality. What are they up to? Starts Summer 1960, leading up to the events of Hairspray.





	1. Chapter 1

“R-r-r-roll call!” They cheer.

“I’m Laurie!”

“Dave!”

“Martha!”

“Kyle!”

“Charlotte!”

“Mike!”

“Amber!”

“Link!”

“And I’m… Fetch!”

The eight kids cheer for their guest star as they run back to their places, Fetch grooving in the spotlight as they dance behind him. “Can’t tell a verb from a noun, they’re the-”

“Nicest kids in town!”

Two beach balls drop from the ceiling, and they pass them around to each other as they dance. “They’re the sugar and spice-est! The nicest kids in,”

They all sprint over to pose around Corny, beaming at the camera. “Kids in town! Woo!”

They cut to a commercial. “Back in three,” Velma says. They stand up and stretch, and interns and assistants run from the wings to give them water.

“You there!” Velma says, pointing to Laurie. “Take that padding out! Mike, that is very obviously a tube sock, I spoke to you several times about that. Kyle… get a haircut!”

“Yes ma’am, I’ll be right back.”   
“Call me ma’am or mouth off again and you’re off the show.”

He looks bewildered. “Next week’s my last episode!”

“Back on in ten seconds!” Corny shouts, and they sprint back to their positions.

“Thank you all for tuning in to our very special graduation episode! Congratulations to all you Baltimore seniors out there! Unfortunately, this does not come without a note of sadness. Our seniors Laurie, Dave, Martha, and Kyle are leaving, and next week’s episode will be their last. But out with the old, in with the new! After next week’s episode we’ll be holding auditions where four lucky new teenage dancers will fill in their seats on the council! And be sure to tune in for our very special summer episode and send off on the Corny Collins Show! Same time, same channel.”

The recording light turns off, and they relax. Velma immediately walks onto the set, her heels making an obnoxious clicking sound. “Alright kids, let’s talk next week’s episode. Now, since it’s the summer episode, I want you all in swimsuits. If you’re uncomfortable with that, well, we’ll just find someone who isn’t. This’ll also be good product placement, so come in tomorrow morning to get fitted.”

Amber’s almost drooling with the anticipation of seeing Link shirtless. Dave flexes. “Alright boys, we’ve got a week to look good. Come on, push up time!” The boys all drop to the floor and start working out.

“Corny, who’s gonna head the line when the next season starts?” Amber asks.

“Charlotte, of course, she’s a veteran!”

“Really?!” she asks, grinning.

“Of course, sweetheart. There’s no one better for the job!”   
“Oh my God!”

Laurie’s tempted to apologize, almost being able to feel Amber’s wave of sociopathic hatred transfer over, letting her breathe in peace but turning Charlotte’s life into an inbound hellscape.

“Corney, you were going to talk to Link and my daughter?”

“Oh, yes. You two come with me.” He’s frustrated by the fit of nepotism that threatens to make her talentless daughter one of the most popular girls in the state.

The four of them walk into a small conference room. “Mrs. Von Trapp has suggested that, instead of paying for a guest dancer every episode, starting with the next season we instead have a romance arc between the two of you. Link has been a fan favorite among high school girls since he debuted at the beginning of this season, so giving him a bit more screen time could only be a good thing.”

“Woah, Mr. Collins, are you serious?” Link asks.

“I sure am! And since you’re going to be juniors next year, we have plenty of time to milk this before you graduate. Amber, how does that sound to you?” He already knows how it sounds to her, she’s the one who begged her mother for it. She stares at Link with soul-consuming lust.

“I love the idea! What’ll we be doing?”

“Well, from now on, Link will be the back of the line,” Link grins and pumps his fist. “We’ll start slowly. A few hints at chemistry here and there, you’ll kiss under the mistletoe at the christmas episode, nothing too much be enough to make people start to gossip about it. At Valentine’s day we’ll really kick it into full gear.”

Next Friday is a hot one, and the nicest kids are glad to be in an air conditioned studio. The stage is covered with sand, and there’s a fake sandcastle off to the side. They covered the usual backdrop to make it look like the ocean.

“Okay, get changed, hurry it up, we need to run it through,” Velma says, puffing on a cigarette. They jog to their changing rooms and come back in a matter of minutes. They’d been practicing all week, and the dance is perfected half an hour before the show starts. Kids wanting to audition are already starting to filter in.

They turn off the air conditioning so the sound doesn’t screw up the audio, and by the time the show ends the council members are glistening with sweat. “And now you see why we don’t record over the summer,” Dave says to the newer members of the show. They gulp glasses of cold water in the break after the dancing.

“Sadly, this is our last episode with Laurie, Dave, Martha, and Kyle. You will be missed. But when we return in the fall, a few of these lucky kids will be joining us!” The camera pans to show the group of kids ready to audition, jumping and waving excitedly. The camera turns back to Corny. “That’s it for this season, but we’ll return next September, same time, same channel!” The camera cuts off, and they heave a collective sigh of relief as the air conditioning turns back on.

They go to get dressed so they can watch the auditions. Amber smirks as she hears Charlotte exclaim in confusion when she can’t find her clothes, and grins with near sociopathic delight when she sees her swimsuit on the ground. She reaches her foot under the gap and pulls the suit away with her toes.

“Hey!”

Laurie sighs, guessing that Amber’s already trying to make Charlotte quit. She strolls out of her stoll and grabs Amber’s wrist as she tries to sneak away.

Charlotte has a miniature panic attack in her stall until Laurie tosses her clothes over the door. “Oh, thank you!!” she says. She quickly dresses and opens the door.

“Not a problem. But be on the lookout. All Amber wants is to be in front, and if you quit, she’ll get to. And she’s gonna do anything to get you to quit. Be careful.”

Auditions are just getting started. The first kid has a terrible singing voice. The second seems to have two left feet. The third’s alright, but nothing special. Kyle’s friend Lucy is up next, and she nails it. The fifth is an incoming sophomore, who sings and dances fine but has a resting grouch face.

62 kids audition over the course of several hours, not counting the few dozen turned away by Velma for not being skinny white middle class or rich kids. 44 of them are eliminated immediately, the remaining 18 getting callbacks later in the week. By July, the six new kids are selected and rehearsals start.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nicest Kids work on their new lineup and vandalize the train station.

“I’m Charlotte!”

“Mike!”

“Lucy!”

“Sam!”

“Amber!”

“Brad!”

“Tammy!”

“Artie!”

“Brenda!”

“And I’m… Link!”

They run through the roll call for the tenth time, trying out different combinations to make it flow properly. Mike had switched back and forth between “Mike” and “Michael” nearly every time.

“I’ll be ‘Sammy’, it just doesn’t work if it’s right behind ‘Lucy’,” Sam says.

“Alright, let’s switch some more people around,” Corny says, running his hand through his hair. It doesn’t work.

“Artie’s name is stupid,” Amber says. Artie agrees, stating that he didn’t pick it.

“He needs a nickname,” Mike says.

“Grumpy,” Lucy suggests.

Link waves her off. “Well, what do you like to do? What do you want to be?”

“I like to draw, I want to make comic books some day.”

“Sketch! Tammy shouts.

“Sketch,” Corny says. Then stands up straight and grins. “I think I’ve got it!” He lines them up and starts the roll call.

“I’m Charlotte!”

“Sam!”

“Lucy!”

“Michael!”

“Amber!”

“Sketch!”

“Tammy!”

“Brad!”

“Brenda!”

“And I’m… Link!”

“Excellent!” He shouts. They celebrate, high-fiving each other, and sprint down to the music room of the studio to start practicing.

 

They spend the next few days working on singing. “Dude, you’ve gotta smile,” Mike eventually snaps, facing Sketch. “You’re supposed to look happy, like there’s no place you’d rather be!”

“Yeah, man,” Link says, “You’ve got a nice voice and I know you can dance. You just need to look the part.”

He nods in understanding, then looks back to the sheet music. His face looks neutral at best.

Tammy, the only other Soprano, is frustrated at how badly Amber sings. Even just quietly matching pitch would be better than belting out notes that would be more accurate if the score was upside down. Link, on the other hand, is pleased at how well his voice blends with Brad. Most of the newbies have trouble with the odd timing, but Charlotte and Link encourage them, and they get it right more and more times.

 

After rehearsal they have dinner at the town pool. Brad and Mike grill steaks with their dad, exchanging impolite words about what they’d do to the various women they see around the pool. Sam and Lucy talk about how excited they are to be on the show, and a few of their friends come up to congratulate them. Sketch sits at their table, but he’s bent over his notebook and says very little.

Lucy excuses herself to join the other girls in a game of volleyball. “You like her,” Sketch says. It takes Sam a minute to even register that Sketch is the one who said anything.

“No, I—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Alright, I overheard her talking to some of her girlfriends during auditions. Bring her a bouquet and drive her to a nice restaurant uptown for dinner. After dinner, no dessert, take her for a walk on the boardwalk.”

He grins. “Thanks, man.” He nods, already focusing on his notebook.

Brad and Mike come back, carrying their steaks. The boys dig in, talking loudly to each other, drinking stolen beer poured into thermoses.

Sketch eavesdrops on Amber, sitting at the adjacent table with a couple other incoming juniors. “You all remember Charlotte’s prom dress last year? She afforded it by sucking guys off for ten bucks each,” she says in a stage whisper. Sketch rolls his eyes, but is surprised when the other kids gasp like they believe it. He looks up, and none of the other boys seem to have heard her.

“Alright, I’m bored,” Sam says.

“What a coincidence. I have spray paint,” Mike says.

“Another coincidence,” Lucy says, walking up to the table. “Our town has a train station.”

“Got any coincidences, Sketchy?” Sam asks.

“I have cardboard and an exacto knife.”

 

Sam, Mike, Lucy, Brad, Link, Brenda, and Sketch file into Sketch’s garage. He lays down a few pieces of cardboard and finds pencils and rulers. “What do you want it to be?”

“A snake about to eat the school!” Mike shouts before anyone else can answer.

Sketch considers it, then draws out a rough drawing in the notebook. “Something like this?” A partially coiled python with sharp teeth lashes its head out towards the main building of the school, which is twisted at an odd angle. The windows are replaced with bars of a jail cell.

“Awesome!” Mike shouts again.

“Get some coffee,” Lucy says.

After a couple hours of drinking beer in Sketch’s garage, he finally finishes the stencils. Mike holds up the bag of spray paints, and they grin and jog to the train station, chattering with drunken excitement.

“Outside or inside?” Sketch asks.

“Outside, man. Everyone should see this,” Sam answers. Sketch, Brenda, and Brad sit on the railings, watching the others tape up the stencils and start spraying. The python and school quickly appear on the walls. Sam and Mike paint the spots and eyes on the python, and Link and Lucy work on the bars on the school windows.

“What do you kids think you’re doing?” A gruff voice says from behind them. They jump, and turn around to see two stern faced officers staring at them.

“Shit.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chill hangout at Brenda's leaves everyone mad.

The vandals sheepishly walk back into the studio next week, fearing Corny and Velma’s wrath. To their surprise, Corny’s beaming at them. “There they are! Excellent work last week, excellent!”

“What?” Brad asks.

“The whole town’s talking about you! ‘Stars of the Corny Collins show busted for vandalism’, now that’s what I like to hear!”

“Why?” Mike asks.

“Yeah, why?” Amber cuts in. “They should be in trouble!”

“Corny, I don’t think a criminal should be the face of the show,” Velma adds.

“She’s not a criminal, Velma. She’s a rebel! And kids love rebels! As long as people don’t forget about this by the fall, it’ll do wonders for the ratings! I can’t condone this behavior, but I’m very proud.”

“I love that weirdo,” Charlotte says as they get into positions.

 

“Hey, Sketch!” Sam jogs after him as they walk out of rehearsal. “I just wanted to say thanks for the advice you gave me with Lucy.”

“Did it work?”

“Amazingly. You going to the pool?”

He shrugs. “Why not?”

“I’ll drive ya.” Sketch joins Mike, Tammy, and Lucy in his car.

“So you guys were arrested?” Tammy asks.

Mike grins. “Yeah, dude. It was awesome. There were like fifty cops with guns and tasers and they were like ‘you’re under arrest, punks’ and they were totally ready to shoot us but then I was like…”

As usual, after the third “like” everyone starts tuning him out. His embellishment takes up the entire ride to the pool. The other six are already there, Brad and Charlotte at the grill, Brenda sitting next to her friends with her legs in the pool, and Amber sitting uncomfortably close to Link as he tries to talk to his classmates.

“You got a girlfriend?” Mike asks, walking up to the grill.

Brad shakes his head. “You?”

“I’ve been on a few dates with the hottie in the green,” he says gesturing. Brad does a “not bad” nod. “Nothing serious, though.”

“Charlotte, you have a boyfriend?” Brad asks.

“Nope.”

“She doesn’t date much. Quite a few guys after her though.”

“You one of them?” he grins.

“He used to be,” Charlotte says.

“Yeah, she turned me down.”

“For god’s sake, Michael, take your steaks off the grill before they become inedible!” his dad interrupts.

“Yes sir!” the three of them bring the steaks back to their table.

“You start the summer work yet, Tammy?” Sketch asks.

“Pfft. No.”

“You just gonna copy me as usual?”

“Yes please, you’re the best!” she smiles. “Hey, what’re you drawing?” She looks over his shoulder. He’s drawn the stage and five smiling, chibi-style figures in exaggerated dance poses, and started work on a sixth. “Aww, that’s cute!”

“Thanks.”

“You made Charlotte real pretty.”

“She is real pretty.”

“So’s Amber, and look how you drew her.”

“She’s not pretty on the inside.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that.”

He nods, then studies Tammy’s face to start drawing her. Brenda sits down next to them. “You guys want to come to my place after dinner.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Tammy says. Sketch nods in agreement.

“Your parents gonna be home?” Mike asks.

“My mom, but she never goes in the basement.”

“Awesome, I’m there.”

 

Mike, Brad, Tammy, Sketch, and Link admire Brenda’s sixteen inch TV. “Is it in color?” Mike asks.

“Sure is.”

They whistle appreciatively. Sketch and Tammy take one couch; Brenda, Mike, and Link take the other. Brad sits on a cushioned chair near the TV and turns it on.

“Your parents have any beer?”

“My dad might have some in the fridge. I know my mom has margarita mix if you guys know how to make it.”

“I do,” Tammy says. She and Link run up the stairs to raid her fridge.

“This is a pretty nice house,” Mike says.

“Yeah, my dad’s a VP at J.P. Stevens and bought the house when he got transferred here.”

“If your basement’s this big, I’d love to see how big your bedroom is.”

She looks at him with a “nice try” look, then rolls her eyes and turns back to the TV. Link comes back down with a six pack and passes each of the guys a beer. Sketch looks up at him, narrowing his eyes slightly as he always does when about to draw someone.

“Make sure to get my good side,” he grins.

“I don’t think you have a bad one,” Tammy says, walking down the stairs with a pitcher of margaritas and two glasses. She pours herself and Brenda a drink, then sits back down next to Sketch.

“So are you two together?” Link asks.

“Nope,” he answers.

“We’ve been friends since first grade,” she says.

“I think you could be cute together,” Brenda says.

“Not gonna happen,” she answers. “Wanna play paranoia?”

“What’s that?” Brad asks.

“One of us whispers a question to another, where one of the answers refers to someone in the room. Like “most likely to get arrested”. Then they answer out loud, and we flip a coin. If it’s heads we reveal the question, if it’s tails the question never gets revealed.”

“Yeah, sounds fun,” Link says. “You start.”

She whispers something to Sketch. He looks around for a minute, then says “Brenda. Definitely Brenda.”

“What was it?” she asks, a bit concerned.

Tammy flips the coin. “Tails. Sorry, Brenda,” she says, flashing an evil grin.

Sketch asks Brad the next question. He chuckles, then looks at Mike. “Him.”

Tammy flips. It’s heads. “Most likely to get busted for public urination.” Everyone laughs, Mike included.

“Alright, Brenda.” He whispers something.

“Aw, come on!” she complains. Brad grins. “Can you give me another question?”

“Nope. Answer that one.”

She groans. “Link, I guess.”

Tammy flips tails. “Thank God.” She turns and whispers to Link.

“Hmm… You, I think.”

It’s heads. “First to get married.” The others nod in agreement.

Link thinks for a second, then whispers to Mike.

“Brad.”

It’s heads again. “Last to get married.”

“Hey!” The rest of them snicker.

 

As they should have expected, a mix of alcohol and paranoia left Brenda at Tammy’s throat while she laughed uncontrollably, Brad and Mike shouting at each other, and Sketch’s picture ruined.

Link’s bare ass was completely unforeseeable. Most of them are glad that the next morning the sight will be just a hazy memory. They stumble home drunk and smoldering, royally pissed.


	4. Slices of life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter because I'm really busy. This just shows little bits of what the kids are up to and what their friends and family are like.

“Okay, I heard that she made it with  _ three _ guys last week alone,” Amber says.

“I heard that she did it with that creep Kevin because he paid her,” Debbie adds.

“ _ I _ heard that she offered Link money to do her, and when he turned her down she begged,” Nancy says.

“We should call her Charlotte the Harlot,” Amber decides.

“Ooh, that’s a good one.”

“I’m telling  _ everyone _ that.”

 

“Tammy? Are you awake?”

“No.”

“What’s it like on the set?”

“Exhausting. Let me sleep.”

“Come on, tell me about it! What do you do?”

“You sing and dance.”

“And?”

“Lou Ann, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to jump on my bunk until it falls onto yours.”

 

“Brad Bennett, you get down here this instant!” his father yells, almost definitely drunk again.

He can smell the beer on his breath from across the room. “What is that on my car?!”

“Um… paint?”

He puts his face right up to his son’s. “DON’T BE A FUCKING WISEASS! You see that? Right there?”

“What?”

“That, you utter  _ pillock _ , is a scratch! You scratched my car, didn’t you?” He doesn’t respond immediately. “Admit it!”

“Dad, I haven’t touched your car in weeks.”   
“Don’t play innocent! First you get arrested, and then you scratch my car? One more toe out of line and you’re off that show!”

“But—”

“Out of my sight!”

He goes back up to his room, opening the closet his date hid in when his dad stumbled through the front door. “Jesus, is he always like that?”

“Only when he drinks. He’s alright most of the time… actually he’s drunk most of the time. He’s fine when he’s not.”

“That sucks.”

 

“Hey Sam,” Mike says.

“What’s up?”

“It’s time for an adventure. Let’s go, there’s a construction site just off the train tracks.”

“I can’t, I have a date tonight. I’m meeting Lucy in twenty minutes.”

“Lame.”

“Look, I think we’re just too old to go adventuring down by the train tracks.”

“Boo!!”

 

“What are you doing?” Julie asks.

“Getting ready for my date,” Lucy answers, leaning into the mirror to put on makeup.

“Let’s play checkers.”

“I can’t. I have to leave when Sam gets here.”

“But I want to play checkers.”

“Julie, I’m going on my date.”

“You never want to do anything since you got on that show,” she pouts.

 

“Brenda, it’s time for church!”

She groans. “Just a minute.”

“Brenda, now!”

She sighs and storms down the stairs.

“Uh-uh. Not in that. Go back up and change into something nice.”

“Mom, I have stuff to do today.”

“Yes, you do, and it’s church. Get back up there.”

She rolls her eyes and stomps back up the stairs.

 

Sketch knows he’s on the “wrong” side of the tracks, but he’s been to every record shop on his side of town and needs something else. He’s not sure what, but he hopes to find it there.

He sees a sign that says “Motormouth Maybelle’s Record Shop”. He shrugs and goes inside. The song playing is unfamiliar but exactly what he wanted. He asks the kid working at the desk what the song playing is called, and buys the record that has the song on it.

_ I think I’m gonna like this place _ , he thinks as he walks out.


End file.
